…I’ve found a beer style that is, in my opinion, impossible to enjoy.
I don’t mention it very often, and this will be news to many readers, but I’m partial to trying a new beer or two over the course of a weekend. I’m not too fond of sours, or beers that have been flavoured with oddball ingredients or too much fruit. I find too much alcohol leaves a burn that is hard to enjoy. An ABV somewhere between 4 and 7.5% is just fine by me. Hops? Yum! Ridiculously hopped? Sometimes yum! At the other end of the spectrum, malty or dark beers are jolly good, particularly in the winter months. Or summer months. Oh ok, spring and fall also.
So yes to beer overall, but no to my most recent exploration. I tried the beer in the following photograph, and after the first optimistic sip – new beer = high expectations – thought my beer enjoyment taste buds (the medical term is BETBs, as reported in reputable medical journals) had broken. Cue medical panic. Is there a doctor in the house? A nurse? A nurse with a doctorate? Yes. Dr. Mrs. PC, RN to the rescue. While I tried to communicate through mime (having lost the power of speech due to this “beer” removing the layer of BETBs) Dr. PC took a sip and made a face. The one that said so who didn’t read the tasting notes before purchase?
Obviously, being incapacitated due to the medical reasons explained above, I was unable to say it was me failing to read the tasting notes. I didn’t know salt water is the primary ingredient in a gose beer. Actually, salt water isn’t the primary ingredient. Salt is. Other ingredients such as water, or hops are mostly an afterthought.
In the interests of public health, and as a safety information service to fellow beer lovers yet to “enjoy” a gose, I’ll say don’t. Don’t bother. Don’t do it. Just say no! That last one always works in public health messaging from governments not prepared to invest in proper health promotion. Best stop that, let’s not go on a rant about public healthcare under certain governments. Anyway, that’s Dr. Mrs. PC’s area of expertise, not mine. I’m better left with making (sometimes bad) beer choices and reacting in a suitably responsible manner when it goes wrong.
You don’t believe my public health messaging? You think that the gose style is something you could gose for? Ok, on your head and damaged BETBs be it. If you really, really have to try a gose, yet can’t find one anywhere, go to your store cupboard, take out the salt, pour yourself a generous spoonful and start eating. It’ll actually be more pleasant than a gose, a close enough approximation, and you’ll have saved yourself a few pennies and some major disappointment.
Before I go, you’ll be wanting a medical update, because I think I’m right in saying there’s nothing more interesting than an early middle aged person talking about their medical ailments? Fair enough, and thanks for asking – my BETBs have made a full recovery just in time for this weekend. I’ve learned my lesson, and will totally not be trying anything odd sounding or too experimental on the beer front. Oh look, now what’s this?
Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
OldPlaidCamper 
Salt water? WTF? I agree, the craft beer market has reached a saturation point in that many brewers are jumping through hoops to one-up each other. IPAs? Kind of sick of them, in that a lot of folks just try to make them hoppier and hoppier. Some taste akin to what I would imagine a mouthful of talcum powder is like. Then there’s the esoteric – “brewed with tamarind, cacao nibs and a note of centipede legs.” I exaggerate only slightly. And as libationists, we are like Captain James T. Kirk: “Our mission: to seek out and explore strange new brews…” Regardless, no matter what beer-tasting wormhole we descend, it’s always Guinness to the rescue. Be safe and be kind to your tastebuds, Adam.
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Agreed, Bob! We’ve reached peak craft beer stupidity. Yes, often very happy to land on a new beer planet, but thank goodness for old friends in close orbit – like Guinness!
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Your bound to find a beer you don’t like sooner or later. I’m safe and will always be from these Frankenstein beers as I do not drink any alcohol.
Besides we get enough salt from our normal diet. Never even heard of this type of beer before?
Must mean all the good stuff has been discovered and they are searching high and low for something new and improved! Send your review into the company! Maybe they’ll send you a case for target practice?
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Did you mean to say you do NOT drink any alcohol?
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yep,I should reread some of my comments Jane. Thanks for pointing that out,hopefully Adam will correct that for me?
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Hi Wayne, you should see the changed comment now!
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thanks Adam! When I see someone write and there is a needed correction I just go into edit mode and do it.
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Just made that change to Wayne’s comment.
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Thanks, Wayne! Yes, there are beers I’m less likely to enjoy, like there are coffees and teas (tea, yuck!) I wouldn’t drink, but saltwater beer? It’s gone too far! Apparently, gose is an old German style. Should have stayed in the history books.
We hope all is well with you!
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never heard of a salt beer? I agree,that sort of stuff can stay far away! Just thinking about it is enough to throw the taste buds in the garbage!
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“Strange Brew,” sang Cream, and I had to laugh along in agreement with you, and also concurring with Mr. Stanton’s sentiments about the artsy trend in modern suds consumption. I’m all for new adventures in the beer world, but the likes of flavored alcoholic sludge can do serious damage to our BETBs, so it’s good to fall back to some standardized lagers and the likes of bottled Guinness every now & then. I’m glad that you recovered, Adam, and thanks for the warning on this flavor from this “Mayne Island Brewery.”
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Thanks, Walt! I think Bob’s blood pressure might have taken a hit…
I’m all for beer exploration, but my goodness, this style is not a keeper! If it is gose or Bud, then Bud for me every time.
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This was fun read! Happy long weekend!
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Thank you! I hope you’re enjoying your long weekend, and it doesn’t include a gose style beer!
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That was a shock to hear you speaking so strongly against a beer. I hope you find something to soothe your palate.
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I quite enjoyed my beer tasting tantrum! Fortunately, there are many delightful beers out there, and I won’t be making a gose mistake ever again!
Thanks, Jane, and I hope your weekend is going well.
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Love a review that leaves no doubts and this one was extraordinary!! It managed to define beer season, introduced valuable facts (BETBs) and left no doubt that an expert in the field compiled the tasting notes! So happy to see that you recovered in time for the weekend’s interesting selection. Wonderful photo of the ripple pattern on the beach, even if the caption slightly ruined the moment. Was hoping there wasn’t going to be a Game 7 with the Maple Leafs, but hopefully it will be exciting.
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Well, I could (and often do) have gone on and on with that little beer tasting rant! It was such a terrible beer. Let’s not start…
Fully recovered, and fell back on an old reliable this weekend, no chances taken!
Maple Leafs and a game 7? What’s happening out there? I must take a look…
Thanks – I hope your weekend is bug free and the scary chipmunk is well fed!
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I laughed so hard at this. I’m chuckling now, as I type. I guess it did have to happen, though I never would’ve imagined it, knowing how generous you are with your beer tastings and compliments, pc. The BETBs and medical panic with Mrs. PC to the rescue, then the salt rant and then the photos. The “distraction” photo and the severely damaged tongue photo. I was howling. Great fun, and many thanks, my friend. Best to your dr. wife, too.
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Thanks for your comment here, Jet, it made me smile! The Salt Rant (should have been the post title) – I think there’s a short story in there? Not necessarily about a disappointed beer geek losing it – I just liked it when you wrote that!
Anyway, very happy this gave you a laugh or two. Mrs. PC sends her best!
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I will take your advice and avoid this beer.. I use to love trying different beers, then I re found good old Sleeman’s cream ale, and everything else tastes blahs. 😉 cheers
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If you’ve got some good ones, stick with them! Cheers!
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Hello. My tastes in beers align with yours, except that my APV upper limit is 6.7%. The last few tears I’ve been getting into pilsners a lot. I had underestimated them. Good pilsners are tasty as can be. Have a good day. Neil S.
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Thanks for this comment, Neil, much appreciated you took the time. Your point about pilsners is a good one – easy to overlook them in a crowded beer scene, but when they’re good, they’re tasty. If you’ve any in particular to recommend, I’d love to hear. And any poor Pilsner would be better than a gose!
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I live near Philadelphia. There are two breweries in Pennsylvania whose pilsners I like: Victory and Troegs. There are others too, but I’m blanking out on them at the moment.
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